Thursday, January 27, 2011

The BizNasty of the ACHA

Seven games, 14 points, at least four ladies' undergarments. Get him on the ice, MF.

If you like hockey at all and have a Twitter account, you probably know of Phoenix Coyotes left wing Paul Bissonette - better known as @BizNasty2point0 - who has built a huge following by having a sense of humor about his lack of ice time and by generally being the walking definition of "beauty." But do you know of Delaware forward Kyle Drury? Too bad, because you should - he's doing the same thing at the ACHA level, except with fewer re-tweets of not-as-funny people.

This post was originally just going to be a highlight reel of tweets from the guy occasionally known as DrizNasty (said Kevin Miller: "A DrizNasty highlight reel would include a lot of nacho eating and getting bundled in practice. Not to mention swamps."), until he graciously offered to answer a couple questions, and then answered them well. So I'll make this the first time I've ever included quotes on here that weren't ripped off from somewhere else, then throw in 15 good tweets at the end.

Last time I had an exclusive with an ACHA player, I ended up putting something about how Kevin Jaeger (Icers Hall of Fame, class of 2011) wanted to pound Britney Spears in the PSU program insert. Spent some quality time with a black marker that night lining it out on a few hundred copies, which was a blast. The good news is that this is my blog, I'm a grown-up now, and I get to put whatever I want in it. So fair warning, this stuff is too good to censor. If you're six years old or something, please leave this post and go play outside, because you can probably stand to lose weight. Kids are too fat these days.


Thank You Terry: Explain for the uninitiated why you're wearing a thong.

Kyle Drury: It's the outcome of a series of unfortunate events. I'm sure you've see HBO's 24/7 and the Pens monthly shootout "mustache boy." Well, most of our team is just hitting puberty so not a lot of facial hair. So like any other group of players whose careers have peaked nowhere near the NHL, we decided to do as they do and initiated a weekly competition of our own and we came up with thong boy. This week I was the very unfortunate loser of the shootout. I've been sporting the mustache as well since we got back from Christmas as a token of my manliness. Coachy also got a nice pink jersey for the loser of thong boy to wear during his week of public humiliation.

TYT: So you go from that to ripping off a nine-point weekend against Washington & Jefferson, including a hatty Friday. So clearly, you're going to be in against Penn State, right?

KD: I asked Santa for hands and hockey sense this year for Christmas. The first couple of weeks after Christmas, my requests were still nowhere to be found and now all of the sudden they showed up. Scratch that. They still weren't found. I caught a bit of luck this weekend. Everything was just falling onto my stick. Then d-man Kei Toeda touched my stick in between periods of the second game, and I came back down to earth. As for being in the lineup this weekend, I'm not sure. We've got a lot of wily vets on the team who get the job done on the regular basis, and I assume they will be back at it. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to play. Sometimes people assume from my tweets about being a plug and a constant health bomb that I'm okay with not being a regular. But it sucks, man, and it kills me. I just try and make jokes about it. Gotta pay my dues. Keep spirits up.

TYT: You and Kevin Miller were two of my first player Twitter followers. Even now, I still have more UD players following than PSU. And none of the PSU guys ever really say anything, except apparently Paul Daley. What do you guys get about Twitter that we don't?

KD: I think BizNasty has had a lot to do with it. There were just a few of us at the beginning of the season tweeting, but then once everyone heard about the ramblings of Biz, people started jumping on board just to follow him. And we always all tweet back and forth and now most of the team is on it. We even have guys on the team who don't have accounts but just go to BizNasty's page. We have a lot of beauties on our team so it's hilarious. If you want more quality entertainment, follow Max Novak (@NaxMovak8).  He's relatively new to Twitter and lacking followers. He was my linemate in boarding school. He's committed to Union College for next season. Sick hockey player, unreal tweets.

TYT: The general UD opinion of PSU isn't very good. Who started it?

KD: It's just a good old fashioned rivalry. There is always animosity built up when you're gearing up for a big weekend like this. But things like Daley calling out Weins' about faking an injury builds up a general dislike. I heard about the play. A penalty was called. These days chirping via the internet is acceptable, so that's fine. Learn the code, simmer down, and keep your leg in pal. We're hockey players, no one fakes injuries. The only time faking an injury in acceptable is when you've hit the ultimate dead end, men's league. And there are only two reasons to: your wife is giving birth to your first born; or she's sexting you before the game. In that case, #fakeaway.

TYT: Around Christmas, you were blocked by BizNasty, who had warned that bad chirps would earn blocks. Do you remember what did it?

KD: I had actually skated the morning he put out the warning tweet, so I didn't see it. I was checking my funds before I went to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. So a chirp came to mind, "as an intern, what are my chances of a Christmas bonus?  Probably about as good as @BizNasty2point0 getting ice time."  A couple days later, I was checking my timeline and found it weird that he hadn't tweeted in a while, and that was when I figured it out. The fellas on the team battled for me and he unblocked me. Biz and I exchanged a couple tweets and all is well. A bunch of us are hoping to get down to Philly on February 22nd when the Yotes visit the Flyers and meet him. Seems like a genuinely good guy.


Thanks, DrizNasty. And now, the tweets. Keep in mind that these are just since Delaware's trip to the Ice Pavilion in early December, and that I had a lot of trouble keeping it to 15.
Mr announcer man. Seriously stop announcing the jersey auction. Everyone understands. Besides who wants jerseys you got pumped 7-2 in? [Me, apparently. Possibly MF Schurman if he needs it for thong boy.]

@DLombardi8 seriously. I felt like the audio guy at PSU was trying to seduce me with that growl. #scarredforlife

Sitting at the dentist..scared. I hate the dentist more than anything. Operate on my brain while I'm awake just please knock me out for this

Was just poked on FB by @zachreubel6 #aggressive

You guessed it... Healthied again tonight. Follow @UDHockey for game updates provided by the healthiest guy in the league... Me #novitaminc
anyone love Lee more than @cerenz ? Stop texting me telling me how the phils are gonna win the WS now. Its 1:45. I don't fucking care #sleep

Sorry everyone- no in game tweets. In a strange turn of events I'm actually playing. Not joking today

i've never been this hungry. My stomach has eaten thru the fat on it and moved onto my ass

selling these golf booklets has to be some sort of joke. we aren't girls scouts. no one wants to buy fund-raising stuff from a 20 year old.

The IRT trucks should have weapons attached to them like the robots in robot wars so the can whack the jackasses they share to road with

Describing a problem professor says "we have a package here and first we need to exam the length and girth" she's old, so that image was fun

Here's a fun fact. My ex-gf's friend used to date Chris Kreider. I've never met him but basically, #weareboys

I just know that Crosby is somewhere kinda close so I get angry RT @prodiG19: @kdrury11 all u do is complain lol pitts really not that bad

Insomnia reigns supreme Watching Planet Earth. Holy eff I want a baby polar bear. But I don't want it to get big. Just a little guy.

There is a man wearing a santa beard in the corner with a saxaphone and a recorder. Seems to have a copious amount of drugs in his system

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